We all want to connect better and have vibrant relations with the people we care about. Depending on your personality, you might be the one who wears your heart on your sleeves and open ups easily only to hit the walls of people who take time to open up. Or, you could the person that takes time to trust others or open up to them. Either way, building better connections takes time and the currency to facilitate the transaction is trust. So how do you build trust?
When COVID started, where started a family group where we meet once a week and connect and encourage each other over some scripture and good old family conversations and banter. The group started quite big. As time has progressed, it’s gotten progressively smaller. What I’ve noticed is that the more we are connecting, the more people are starting to get more vulnerable and the more intimate the group is getting. It’s beautiful to be able to have this level of connection, especially with aunties and uncles especially coming from a culture where these kinds of relationship tend to be formal.
So naturally, I’ve been curious as to what’s making this family group dynamics work so well and my first conclusion is that we’ve put in the time. Building trust takes time. Based on our past experiences and programming, we need to feel safe before we can trust. Over months of conversations, we’ve been able to create a safe zone where people can share their feelings and dilemmas without feeling that judged.
Some times we expect connections to transform at our own pace, in most cases quicker. While there are ways to expedite trust-building, the reality is that we also have to be very patient and understanding in the process. We have to take a long term approach to relationship building, especially with loved ones and not expect a free pass.