If you are like me, you’ll probably agree that some of our best qualities can also be our biggest undoings. I’m a hard worker who never gives up. That said, in the last decade, this has been my biggest source of burnt outs and in some cases cause strain in my significant relationships. I’m admittedly a compulsive workaholic who does not always know when to stop. I remember one of my worst times in December 2015. I had worked myself so hard in the weeks leading to the Christmas closure than when I was closing up shop to go home for the holidays, I collapsed on my office floor and had to lay on the couch for a few hours before I go get the physical strength to go home.
In the last couple of years, I have tried to inject balance into my life and have succeeded to some extent. I still find the old me popping up from time to time. I try to metaphorically bite more than I can chew then try and either chew really hard or try and make my mouth bigger. Soon after I find myself overwhelmed and spreading myself too thin.
I’ve been reflecting a lot why I do this and I have arrived at a number of conclusions. Hopefully, this makes sense and if you are in the same situation arrive at a similar perspective. See, I grew up without much and my desire to try and never lack has driven me into workaholism and debt. Trying to run away from something can subconsciously drive you toward the same problem. I think my workaholism has been created by scarcity rather an abundance mindset. Scarcity drives you to short term decisions rather than making good long term choices. This is the first mindset component I’ve been confronting.
Being a new dad has changed everything. As my wife constantly reminds me, we need to live long enough not just to raise him but see his children. I started this self-care journey as a complete sceptic and while I have made some strides, there is still a lot of work to be done. I have massive goals in life but important I want to get to the final life and bring the people I can about the most with me. This is why I am making stuff a priority.